Thursday, 18 June 2009

  • Cheating: Is it ever deserved?

    I was reading this article on CNN, which tries to cite an example where cheating on your significant other was deserved (or at least you shouldn't be surprised if it happened) and it made me think about whether it really made sense.

    Here are the cliffs (provided by CNN) on the article so you don't really have to read it:

    • Writer says that if Jon Gosselin (from Jon and Kate Plus 8) cheated on his wife, she may have deserved it.
    • Quotes blog that says Kate Gosselin humiliated, degraded, emasculated husband.
    • Writer: Cheating isn't right, but neither is emotional abuse and neglect.

    So even though the writer in the article doesn't really justify Jon cheating, she makes a point that, "If you push someone enough, it shouldn't be any surprise when you push him into the arms of someone else."

    Personally, I have never watched the show, but quite a few people I know who has/does do mention that Kate treats her husband like shit. I agree with the writer that though cheating isn't right, why should anyone be surprised that Jon cheated on her (assuming that he did)?

    What bothered me most was reading the comments at the bottom of the article, where some people were like, "if she was such a bad wife, you should just end the relationship, not cheat." I don't know who those people are or what rock they are living it under, but Jon does have 8 kids. He can't just pick up and go.

    It also doesn't surprise me that Kate KNOWS that she's treats Jon like crap. Apparently, she doesn't care what people think, but what about what Jon thinks? She probably doesn't care about that either.

    Anytime communication falls through, problems are bound to happen. I would never condone cheating and two wrongs definitely don't make a right. But what do you do if you were Jon? Everyone needs love.

Comments (37)

  • faustuosa

    Pfff.... I am so tired of the Jon- Kate thing. I don't know. It's devastating to find out that your partner has cheated on you. I recently found out that I was cheated on and I retraced my steps and all to see if there was something I did that drove him to it. He said that it's nothing I did, he just 'gave into temptation', I guess. I don't know... I still love him, but just knowing that he was in the arms of someone else makes me sick to my stomach. I thought that what we had was different, but it turns out, it's just the same shit all over again. I should have stayed single.


    But enough of my drama...


    No one deserves to be cheated on. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. If the relationship isn't working you should talk about it. And if there is still no change, then I think the two people need to split up. Though Jon has 8 kids, things have a way of working themselves out. I wouldn't stay married if my husband treated me the way Kate treats Jon, even if there are 8 kids involved. My grandparents got divorced and my grandmother raised her 9 (NINE) children all by herself. So if my grandmother can do it, so can Jon & Kate.

  • mycontinuity
    I've only seen clips of the show, and that chick is mean! Anyway, he pretty much has already left them, so he should just get a divorce. I can't imagine why he married her in the first place, unless she was different when they first met.
  • UnopenedSuitcases
    i definitely agree. when someone cheats [sometimes] it's because of something that is wrong in the relationship. but for the most part, cheating is done because of lack of communication and understanding and trust. and i'm speaking from personal experience...
  • sugarvirgo
    get marriage counseling?
  • nimbusthedragon

    It's a tough situation, seriously... from what we as outsiders can tell.  You should honestly just watch the show for like a few minutes, and you'd see what people mean.  I only could endure like 15 minutes of it... the woman is just... unconscionably terrible with him.  Like, I wanted to reach through the screen and smack her. 


    Two wrongs don't make a right, but I don't blame the poor bastard.

  • davidian
    i read the same article.  was gonna blog about it too.  but then got busy...  (read: lazy).
  • toefu6000
    Kate has changed a lot over the years as they taped the show. She wasn't like this when they first started out; they were genuine, humble and people could relate to the chaos that is family life at times. But now, she's definitely pulled a 180 compared to their first season.

    I question their sincerity at times when they decided to sign on for another 40 episodes even with the tabloids hunting their every move. It's obvious there's a split between the two and you can tell the kids are acting differently because of it. It's like a train wreck except you ignore your instinct to not watch....

    Even in his situation, as bad as it is, cheating still is not justified. New hobbies, more time with the kids away from their mom, something, anything else.......
  • aNiceWhim
    Though Jon's supposed cheating may be justified by Kate's abuse and blah blah blah, nevertheless, its still cheating. Cheating in its own terms has a bad connotation to it; either to mislead, lie, dupe, etc... My point is, it is not done without consequence and no matter what led up to this action, it has been done. Jon is going to sooner or later face them, either through the raising of fucked up kids...or something!
  • miss_prettyinpink
    Shouldn't 8 kids be enough reason not to cheat? You're not only hurting your wife, but you're also hurting your children...
  • mr_faust
    only in the game of LIFE (cuz Monopoly is meant for sexual things)
  • manoagirl7
    my friend thinks everyone is capable of cheating if they are put in circumstances that push them over the fidelity line. at the time, i strongly disagreed, because i'm a naive idealist and like to think some people out there would hold back even if they're way past their breaking point. but... we're all human and imperfect and (like you said) need love.
  • kor_girl
    I've never seen the show but people have told me that Kate is a horrible person who abuses her husband in the most degrading kind of way. At one point, she gave the man $9 dollars a day to have lunch. What the hell can a grown man buy with less than 10 dollars?!! Even a kid (these days) need more than that. That's not only degrading but it's humiliating, so I'm not surprised that he cheated on her. She did it to herself; if she treated him like her equal, maybe he would have respected her enough NOT to cheat on her. I've never condoned on cheating, but because there are 8 kids in the mix, he should have figured out his situation before he cheated on her... like what are the consequences to his actions, why not consider a separation from his wife but still participate in taking care of the kids, etc. I know all of our comments are easier to be said because it's not our life that's unfolding but I hope for his sake; emotionally, I hope he can work it out.
  • kor_girl
    BTW love the new profile pic!! :)
  • fubabee
    Cheating should never be condoned. However, in this case, if Jon did cheat, it was probably due to his frustration with having the cameras around constantly. A cry for help, maybe? Hey, he's in our age range with 8 kids, and a wife that does nothing but berate him any chance she gets! Tell me that's not a quarter-life crisis magnified!

    I've watched the show from the beginning (because those kids are so darn cute!), and it's obvious at the end of last season that Jon has had enough of the entire show, and Kate was the one who pushed for a next season. (Apparently $75k per episode and a chance to get her own talk show, is more important than the well-being of the entire family...)

    If I were Jon I'd put my foot down and say no more cameras. I'm sure those kids already have their college funds set aside from the book tours, talk shows, and reruns. It's time to put the focus back on the family, WITHOUT the spotlights.
  • kkraziemoonn
    i think jon is def not the bad one. but also..haven't you heard that supposedly they have a contract that says he can be with whoever he wants as long as he pretends nothing is going on and they carry on with the show. he just got caught on camera. and now they have to go a new route and do a big cover up.
  • Pitohui
    I've never seen (or even heard of) these people, but if I were Jon... well... a little DV can work wonders for a relationship. Either drive it into the ground or get it back on course, but trying to avoid the situation through extramarital affairs isn't the way to go.
  • eyesochinky

    cheating is never justified or "deserved".   i was cheated on 3x by 3 different guys... did i deserve it?  i dont think so.  its just a matter of resisting temptation and having respect for the other person that you're in a relationship with.  apparently the 3 boys lacked respect for me and couldn't resist the temptation of another cooch.  sometimes people are too afraid to walk away from what they have so they cheat, hoping that they will never get caught.  well, dont ever underestimate a woman's intuition is all i have to say :o)~


    as far as jon & kate, kate is just a straight up bitch.  yes, there are children involved and it just makes the situation that much harder for both the parents & the children.  i would try couples counseling first.  if that doesnt work, then maybe separation.  i think i'd rather hurt & break away from the relationship and share custody of the children than let them watch us fight/bicker at each other.  in some ways, splitting up may be healthier for both the parents and the children because they wont be caught in the middle of a crossfire.  its not easy, but its probably LESS detrimental.

  • Vitamin_D
    o_O*

    This is possibly why everyone needs to draw away from their life and live their own.. and make their own mistakes.

    I still feel sorry for this family although all I ever hear of them is through Xanga.
  • jeezshoua
    She treats him like he's a kid. Seriously. Sometimes I just feel bad for the dude. But then again, she is home all day with eight kids. That can drive any woman crazy.

    Cheating is cheating. No one deserves it. Even if your wife treats you like crap on national television.
  • MJeeeeeeeezy
    pfffttt, i wouldn't be surprised if my husband cheated on me coz i treated him like shit. there's always a REASON ppl cheat. ALWAYS. that doesn't mean that i condone cheating, but there's something they find in another person that their s.o. lacks. a lot of the time it's simply attention.

    relationships take a lot of work, yo. you can't take the s.o. for granted coz they will leave your ass one way or another.
  • SimplyNita

    Cheating isn't right no matter what. Even if the other person does mistreat you, then why would you want to lower yourself to their standards. 

  • Chinkzilla

    HOLY CRAP, NEW LOOK, NEW LAYOUT, NEW PROFILE PIC!!!!

    It's the new, improved Ray!

  • mewithoutu77

    i understand that kate treats john like a kid, but if you ever watch the show, he's not proactive with the children.  before he lost his job, he would work a normal 8 hour day plus drive time while she's at home with 8 small children.  i would be frustrated with him too if i was her, but it doesn't give him the right to cheat on her.  


  • miss_lyrical

    what can he do? he has 8 kids.. and a contract with TLC. you're right -- two wrongs don't make a right. anyone who has seen their show knows that she treats him like shit. i'm not surprised that he was caught 'cheating'.. poor guy. i don't condone cheating either.. but someone like him who has probably been deprived of emotional/physical affection for a very long time.. breaks at one point or another. poor kids..

  • LADYLILYTHAO

    I'm over Jon and Kate but I feel bad for their adorable kids.  She is so disrespectful of her husband, belittling him and yelling at him in public.  Cheating is not right but I think that when your SO is cheating you know or have a sense of it...and if you treat your SO like Kate treats Jon then you shouldn't be surprised when it happens but it still isn't right.  BTW, I like the new profile pix!

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