As some of you may know, a 9-year old boy was abducted earlier this week by someone in his neighborhood and was found brutally murdered. The man was caught and confessed to the crimes. As this whole thing unfolded, people began asking, "What was a 9-year old doing walking home alone?"
When I was 8, I was already walking to and from school alone. Times are much safer now than it was 22 years ago. I was riding the subway by the time I was 9 or 10 years old. By the time I was 11, I've probably been around many parts of the city, riding the train.
What happened to the boy was unfortunate, but it's also something that could happen to anyone.
There has been a slight raise in crime lately, but still significantly safer than it was when I was a kid. I would certainly allow my kids to walk home from school if it's only a few blocks away.
Do you think it's wrong for the parents to allow the kid to walk home alone, assuming that the distance was very close?
Comments (18)
No. It might be a generational gap. The fact that heinous crime rate like that hasn't gone down in centuries, however, due to population increase and internet media, people hear about it faster and it seems like it's happening more often... which through semantics, it is, but % wise, it isn't.
Our generation walked home, ignored Child Services LOL, and did what we had to do.
My parents were super strict and always present. I wasn't allowed to really go to school and home by myself until I was well in JHS and that was because I lived a block from the bus stop.
I do agree that we live in safer times now than we did while we were growing up, but it seems like the kinds of crimes committed now are more brutal and devastating. It's not petty crimes anymore. It's dismembering people and lots of crimes against innocent children that make me sad.
I think through elementary school, I would like to know that my kids are supervised when they walk to and from school.
I didn't grow up in NYC, my parents were really strict and things were not in walking distance. I rode a yellow school bus up until I drove, at 16. Then I drove my siblings and I to school. My parents always knew where we were and well...I just had a really ridiculous curfew.
On my baby brother's first day of school, (he's 6) he got off at the wrong stop. My mom waited and waited for him his REAL bus stop but he didn't never showed up. She called the school and they contacted the bus company. He finally showed up 2 hours later in front of the house. He had walked all the way home from where he got off, which was at least half a mile away. Where my parents live isn't the huge metropolis like NYC, and fortunately, nobody kidnapped him or snatched him (and what's worst is that NOBODY stopped to help him) but I believe that there are bad people anywhere you go who have malicious intents.
I don't think it's necessarily wrong that they let their son walk by himself, but I do think that it definitely puts children at a greater risk if they are not being supervised by a trusting adult...even if it is for a few blocks.
Yeah. My Dad grew up in South Africa. He still freaked out when I was at uni walking from the parking lot to my apartment late at night. I went to uni in a small rural town of less than 60,000 people...
I wasn't allowed to walk home at night from a neighbor's house two houses away until I was in middle school. <,< My Mum was a stay at home mom tho, so there was always someone to pick us up. But for families where both parent's work, sometimes it's just not possible. I can't imagine what the parents of the little boy are going through... so horrible. =(
I started walking to school after the first few weeks I started Kindergarten. My mom started walking me half way, and then she would just watch me from the window.
My parents never let me walk alone even if it was a few distance away. I've always either been with a group or an adult. Times have changed.
I agree with you that it is safer now than when we were kids, and the statistics back it up! It is only with the increased media attention and our ever-litigious society that makes this generation more prone to bubble-wrap our children. I used to walk to kindergarten by myself (it was almost a 1-mile walk) and now you will never hear of even 10-year-olds doing that...no one even rides their bikes to school anymore!
I hope to raise my children the free-range way, and if you're interested (for future reference
this reminds me of the debate about the mother who let her 9-year-old son ride the subway alone. some parents are helicoptors, some are a bit too progressive for me. my parents didn't let me go to school by myself until i was 11 and that was during the end of my 6th grade school year. i don't think it was wrong for the parents to let their son walk alone, but they should've prepared him better for what happens when he gets lost. if i feel that my child was not mature enough to know what to do when lost, i wouldn't leave them alone.
Buddy System.
I don't think it was wrong to let the son walk home alone. The only one I. The wrong was the kidnapper/killer. My parents let my brother take the bus and subway to school everyday at the age of 10 in the Bronx. That was in the 80's when the Bronx was really bad and he survived. Just gotta make sure you teach the kids about strangers and hope for the best.
At a certain point I think we have to let go of the fears we have and allow children to experience freedom and independence so they can grow. I do think it's generational. I know a lot of my parents and even people a few years older than me experienced a different world. Where your neighbors watched you if your parents weren't home and you walked home from school and you had the freedom to be out on the street playing all of the time by yourself. Now people have abduction fear. The point that made it for me was... I've heard of people much older than that, in their teens, being abducted. You can't protect people forever. I'm not sure what the right age is (or if there is one) but I'm sure it depends on other things like how well they are able to deal with strangers, how far away from home they live, etc.
I def. agree with all your points, and what happen to this boy is unfortunate and you made a great argument that it could happen to ANYBODY. I have a hunch that thousands of young kids walk safely to and from school every single day, but no one really pays attention to those kind of statistics.
Anyway, allowing children their independence is always a great discussion... even if it was raised from a really sad story.
I think it depends on what area the kids are crossing through and how familiar they are with the territory. In general I'd probably want young kids to have at least another friend there with them. But after they pass elementary school, I'd allow them more freedom to go places independently. There's enough warnings about Stranger Danger that most kids are well aware of it. Not to minimize the murder at all, but it was a bizarre, one-in-a-million case, which is partly why the publicity is so intense. Most brutal crimes against children are actually committed by people they know closely. And like you said, it could happen to anyone.
In Japan, little kids as young as 5 yrs old walk to and from school with their friends everyday, but still even if it is one in a million chance, there's still a chance...I am not a parent yet and I don't know how I am going deal with it when the time comes, but I don't know how I am going carry on if something were to happen to my kid...
in korea, u see little kids walking everywhere by themselves. nothing happens to them. here, ehhh, idk if i would trust that nothing would happen to them.
i guess it depends on how much i trust my kid's judgment and if the neighborhood is safe. if there's bad stuff between the school and home, i'd rather pick up my kid than have him/her have to walk through that stuff.
but i think from an early age, or usually the first couple weeks of school (for different levels, since usually the schools here provide busing), i'd have to talk with my kid about how to handle walking home after taking the bus or whatever.
Very controversial question you raised. I personally wouldn't let a 8-9 year old walk home alone regardless if it's a block away just because I'm protective that way. I have a cousin that's 8 and my mom and his parents wouldn't let him, even though our neighborhood is full of people leaving school. It's just, you would never know what might happen and it's better to be safe than sorry. I mean if you must have your child walk home alone, and if you can't take him or her to and from school, have them walk in groups or something. That's actually what I did when I was around their age.