August 9, 2010
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The satisfaction from being right
My friend asked me last night if I feel good being right since I feel like I need to be right all the time. I’m very argumentative and is very quick to correct someone if I think that they are wrong.
I am right, almost all the time and when I’m not, I am just as quick to admit that I was wrong. Most of the time–actually, an overwhelming majority of the time, I don’t get any feelings of satisfaction from being right. As bad as it sounds, I feel like that’s just my duty and I’m just doing my job–correcting people.
However, there are times when I do feel good for being right and it has nothing to so with what I’m right about. It depends on the person. I would say there are around ten people who makes this list. They’re there because they have a track record of always disagreeing with me–even with the most random things.
My fiancée would be one of these people–from disagreeing about copyright laws to what is the first day of the beginning of the week. Some of the topics are almost Seinfeld-esque, like what’s sweeter, lemons or limes. These debates sometimes blow out of proportion, resulting in mass polling.
I’ve been told that people hate it when I’m right and when I’m wrong, I leave them with no satisfaction because I would admit it right away and move on.
Which type of person are you? Are you the type who is very opinionated and is vocal, or do you normally keep your opinions to yourself, even though you don’t agree with what has been said?
Comments (33)
this was very amusing to read.
i’m pretty vocal and opinionated, but i only voice myself when it’s worth it. battles are only chosen wisely. unlike you, i’m not a fan of confrontation!
Friendship is a golden chain that bunches two hearts together, if u never break that chain we shall be friends forever.
depends on who the other person is. i can be both ways.
@girl_smileyy - Confrontation is only worth it, when you care for whom you’re being confrontational with. I like your methods.
@Jigg – Within context, if i’m talking with a person about something that they have more information on, I have no problem being wrong at all. But I most likely won’t have an argument with someone to begin with, if I’m aware they know more on the topic we’re discussing than I do. If I have more knowledge on the topic than they, even if I won, I wouldn’t see the point in rubbing it in their faces.. Simply b/c it’d be a waste of my time, if a person can’t recognize that they’ve been outsmarted.
On the other hand, if we’re talking about topics that connect to personal identification/characteristic traits, I don’t believe there is a “right” and “wrong” to go by. Each person is allowed to be themselves, by all means.
lol I can like picture you and karen arguing about “Seinfield-esque” stuff hahahaha. The only time I remember you being right was when you were giving me subway directions lol. and I did feel a tinge of disdain, but only because you had such a smug look on ur face lol, even if that look was unintentional.
I only hate it when I’m wrong if it’s like a huge, extended argument…then it’s like wow, I spent all that time defending myself and I’m wrong!? also, I agree that your job (as well as everyone else’s job) in the world is to correct pple when they’re wrong. Ignorance is fought one person at a tiem.
@wonderland7386 - lol. Trust me when I say that I was only amused at the whole situation and not about being right.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Haha I got a kick out of this because I feel like you just wrote about me. But to a lesser degree.
@Jiffipop - lol. Welcome back to Xanga?
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
@jigg - haha, maybe
Don’t take this the wrong way. Your blog is great! you speak your mind but sometimes you sound so obnoxious and self righteous. I have followed you for a long time. I don’t remember you ever writing a post of you being wrong.
@long time reader - I come off as that, but if you know me, it’s more like a quirk than anything. None of my friends (who deal with all this shit, lol) have ever told me I was being obnoxious or self-righteous.
But as for me writing a post of me being wrong, I honestly cannot remember the last time I was wrong! lol.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Underspoken. =/
I think I know my friends well enough to know who can or cannot take it when they are wrong. The ones who cannot, I avoid pointing out their “wrongness.” I don’t care to get into battles about right or wrong when the person clearly doesn’t care to learn anything. What’s the point?
I’m glad there are people who are willing to take on the battles with these people, though. I know it’s not my battle, so I’ll leave it to the pros like you. =D
I get opinionated if I feel an issue has an imminent affect on me and people of my peer group and my confrontation with the parties involved will have a positive outcome. If I see the parties involved are biased and would not open to an open minded discussion to weight my perspective, there’s no point for me to dispense my effort to enlighten them. The response usually come immediately after I assessed the situation and find an angle to attack the issue, or people…and I mean through reasoning.
I don’t like to go UFC if talking would do. So hypothetically, if a black person is making racist jokes about Whites…that I know can never happen because they’re the pedestal minority of America, I probably would make a pass on getting confrontational with them. Reasoning being I don’t see I’ll cure ignorance with one dose of discussion, and the discussion most will not likely be an intellectual and civilized one.
If I have reason to believe what I think is right (if I’ve read up on it, for example, and my opinion is backed by more than just my thoughts) I would share it.
I think my friends become annoyed at times when I too-persistently pursue issues. It’s not so much about being right, than it is about gaining a mutual understanding or consensus. I guess I’m just not comfortable with ending a discussion with conflicting views, without knowing why the other person thinks the way they do.
I guess for me, it depends on how much energy I have to spend to argue…even if I am right about something, if it takes too much effort to lay it out to the person to prove a point I usually give up and let it go (unless there’s financial matter at stake or I am defending someone I care about)
Actually, I remember there was a time we had an exchange on something…I thought there were loopholes in some of your points but you were so persistent and your boundless energy, I just gave up arguing with you…
I usually keep things to myself, although if it’s on an issue I’m involved with I’m more prone to speak up. Oftentimes I assess beforehand if the benefit outweighs the cost of speaking up.
Also, limes are sweeter.
@anitoos - i hate how people are not persistent enough. taking the easy way out because they want to avoid conflict.
pisses me off. >_>
@LillimNo9 - Some people just don’t like to be challenged. =)
I used to ALWAYS speak up. Every time, anything. It was like an itch that had to get out. Strange thing is.. I’m probably opposite now. I just keep my peace and let things go. Where is my happy medium?
Yeah, I must admit, I’m always right. LOL
Some subjects are… subjective. For example, how easy/difficult it is to make friends in NYC…
I easily admit to when I’m wrong, which can be often
But heaven help you if I think I’m right.I can be stubborn about standing my ground, if I feel I’m right. I won’t change how I think to appease someone else, but I try to see other people’s point of view.
“my friend” – points to self haha
of course i like being right. but if someone points out i’m wrong, and i’m humble enough to realize it, then i’ll admit it and apologize.
i tend to avoid arguments and confrontations with acquaintances, co-workers, and maybe some close friends if they’re the type who are stubborn enough to avoid all contact for months, but with my family i tend to be very pushy with my opinions and like being acknowledged when i am right.
Well, obviously, Sunday is still part of the weekend, so Monday must be the first day of the week, wouldn’t you agree?
almost always wrong or at least doubtful about own self but like to induce “she sounds quite right” to listening subjects
i love debating/arguing… almost too much. but i learned, to not come off as obnoxious, annoying, self-righteous, know-it-all by following this rule and format:
you never want to argue with somebody being negative (read: you can’t logic women on the rag). you agree with them first, and then just presume the opposite.
example… ““You’re right, internet sites are always free so it’ll never make money. But maybe some big company will buy the site out for millions”
So I’m not being confrontational with them, and I stay positive, without being approval seeking either. And the other person gets to ‘hear’ they are right (small win for them).
Lol This is funny. I probably wouldnt enjoy talking to much with though because you would only get me mad and i would walk away from you. lol I know when to shut up and speak my mind. there is always a good and bad time to say what you think is right or wrong. You cant always be right that would make you perfect and there is NO perfect person lol
@Mommy2Be10 - I’m not always right. I’m almost always right. lol.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Haha wow your funny. and you have a fiance? lol
@Mommy2Be10 - She’s almost always right too! When she agrees with me. lol.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee