May 26, 2011
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Groomsmen
I’m having the biggest trouble choosing who my groomsmen will be for my wedding this year. Although Mrs. jigg and I are already married, we still wanted to have our BBQ wedding. Part of the problem is that Mrs. jigg is only having three bridesmaids. Because of that, I shouldn’t have too many more, so I’m thinking between 3-4.
Much of the problem is simply because I have a lot of really close friends, people who I can trust anything with. If I had to draw a line, there are at least 10-12 candidates and amongst them, at least two can be my Best Man. This brings me to my next problem–how do I choose only one?
One is my bestfriends who I grew up with. I was his Best Man at his wedding. The other is probably my closest friend in the past 10 years since we went to college and lived together. Believe me when I say, it’s a really tough choice.
Invitations are going out next month so I should decide soon.
If you’re married already, how hard was it to decide these things? How did you do it?
If you’re not married yet, have you already decided already?
Comments (30)
Rock scissor paper!
I went with my best friend from my childhood even though we have grown apart because no matter how long we haven’t seen each other, everytime we hang out it’s like we never missed a beat. I determine that, this person knew me best. Also sometimes the type of person they are is important. You don’t want your best man to ruin your wedding. However, I knew that my best man was going to be irresponsible, and he was, because he was hungover on the day of my wedding, but I dealt with it and accepted it.
@RokMan - Any one of the guys in my bridal part is good enough and responsible enough to be my Best Man. The truth is, I’m close to all of them and it’s a really tough choice.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
a last man standing duel is the only way to settle it. put all your groomsmen candidates in a room and have them battle until the last 3 are standing. those are your groomsmen.
I was engaged before, and went through this same process. Do you have a brother? Sometimes you can use your brother(s) and your friends really can’t say anything. If you need 3, you may use one best friend, and for the other 2, instead of choosing a friend, you can have 2 Junior groomsmen. So your wife can have a bridesmaid, and 2 junior bridesmaid. Up to you, how you play it. That’s an option if you don’t want to choose among your good friends and you don’t want to offend anyone.
Or you can do a bachelor party/vacation and you can create an event/game that helps you choose your groomsmen. Tell them you are having a tough time choosing since you can’t use them all. The top 3 winners of the game will be your groomsmen. Fair game for everyone, no hard feelings. The guys understand and won’t be offended this way.
@davidian - @Titan35 - lol. It’s not really a priviledge to my groomsmen. I don’t think having people compete for it would make sense. Though David, if the two candidates for Best Man were to fight for it, it would be really bloody. These two guys are animals.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
@jigg - alright, fair. just tell muserato to get more friends then. =P
Make it easy and just pick whomever has qualities most like the dudes of the Hangover.
@tenshii_rage - They are all crazy so that criteria does not work.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
who says u need to have one best man? have them both standing up there. i had that conflict between heather and lydia. they’re both very close to me in very different ways, but the deciding factor was that lydia lives in SF. she can’t make it to any of the bridal things except for the bach party. she wouldn’t have been able to help with the planning too.
would either of the boys be super butthurt if he didn’t get chosen?
and isnt ur bbq in sept? invitations nxt month? already? we still have to print, cut, and glue ours together!! ahhh!
Generally I find it’s decided by who has more free time in his schedule and can actually help more, or wants to. If you still have more than one best man candidate and more than 4 groomsmen candidates after that, then you’re a lucky man.
@jigg - No worries, I’m sure your guy friends are understanding, and I’m sure they won’t be offended if you don’t pick them.
Perhaps you can choose them by how much they influence you. So for someone that made the most influence on you would be chosen over others. Just a suggestion.
@MJeeeeeeeezy - We’re thinking of sending them out by the end of next month. We expect them back by middle August so we get an accurate headcount. That gives everyone about 2 months to decide.
As for the two guys–neither of them would be offended. In fact, I don’t think either are expecting me to pick them. I think things would be easier overall if I chose just one instead of two.
@moritheil - They both live near me and both are equally accessible. On top of that, I have already planned everything so they don’t really need to do much.
@Titan35 - Fortunately/unfortunately, they have both been a huge influence in my life.
Thank you all for your comments. =)
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
i think you should pick the one who made you his best man.
i think people usually don’t pick the married men to be the best man… so maybe you should choose the one who’s not married?
i already told my gf to have 12 bridesmaid ready. If not, i will get other girls that are close to me to stand on that side.
Fuck tradition. Make it a sausage party!
eenie, meeny, miny, moe.
i gave nobody a rank , only let them know they are in my bridal party. they each got to plan some significant aspect of my pre and wedding activities so you would never know.
each girl will just have 2 guys on her arm. ^^
Wow!! A wedding and a BBQ wedding?! That is awesome. Very creative.
@icecrepas - @coolmonkey - @Manbeast - @yukiiiiiiiiii - @claritymay - @moritheil - @MJeeeeeeeezy - @tenshii_rage - @Titan35 - @davidian - @mycontinuity - I have decided to go with @hilda1997‘s suggestion and not have a Best Man. I brought the list down to 6 guys. I just gotta choose 4 from that group.
Thank you all for your suggestions!
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
you guys should have a xanga wedding too.
@davidian - AGREED!!! That is where you guys met. pay some love back
guess who won the lottery?!
lol
Although I was never really that close to you, I’ve known you and many of your friends for the past ten years or so. And my impression of you and your friends is that everything will work out. Just choose the first guy that comes to mind. Your friends know your character and will be happy for you and your wife regardless of who was chosen to be in the bridal party.
a friend i know who recently got married didn’t choose a best man. he just gave each of his friends a “task” to fulfill. ie, one gave the speech, one planned the bachelor party. and they stood in height order for the ceremony.
Hi jigg, that is a very tough choice indeed. Can you not choose and make both your best man? Afterall, both are really really best friends of yours.
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