February 28, 2011
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Embarrassing parents
I don’t really recall the time when I was a kid and was embarrassed being seen with my parents, but for some reason, every time I hear about it or see it on Modern Family, it made perfect sense to me. Yesterday, I felt it for the first time.
I was double parked, waiting for Mrs. jigg to buy eggs at the store. While backing up, I nipped the front bumper of a parked car that was parked crooked and had it’s front sticking out a lot more than normal. It was really light–in fact so much that neither I nor the person in the car felt it when it happened. It wasn’t until a few minutes later when the lady noticed how close my car was to her’s and decided to stick her head out the window to see what happened. I saw her in the rearview mirror and quickly prayed that I didn’t hit her car. I moved up and waited to see what happened. She came out, assessed the damage and knocked on my window. I got out of the car, apologized for hitting it and hoped that it wasn’t anything serious. It was a scratch. I noticed that her white minivan was brand new and felt terrible. I quickly apologized again.
We waited till her husband came out of the store to decide what to do. As we were discussing the issue, my parents appeared out of nowhere. They live really far away, so I had no idea why they were there. I told them quickly what happened and right away, my dad decided to take charge of the situation.
He took a look at the scratch and said it was really small, barely visible. The guy said his car was leased would be charged for all nicks and scratches when he returns it. He was very polite and told me that it would cost $200-300 to fix it. He said he would be willing to take $200 and be willing to pay for the rest or go through insurance, whichever I preferred. I quickly called one of my friends who is a mechanic and asked for his advice. He said it really does cost that much because they would have to sand it down and repaint the whole bumper so the color matches. it would be at least $150, but probably $200-300 range as the guy indicated.
While I was trying to talk to these people my dad says $200 is crazy and offers $50. The couple began trying to explain that $50 wasn’t going to do anything and that’s when I dad begins to yell. He literally yelled at this couple, for reasons I still do not understand. It wasn’t like he was saying they were trying to rip me off. He just lost his temper and said that $200 was impossible. I told him to let me take care of it and he turns around and says to me that I should offer $50 or go through insurance.
I already felt terrible that I had caused the couple such a problem and while I didn’t want to pay $200, I empathized how they were feeling. They had a kid and a baby in the car and it was getting dark. Now they have this guy yelling at them and not only making the situation worse, he was embarrassing me, as if I couldn’t handle it myself.
I almost lost it and told him to go home. I told my mother to take him away and I’ll deal with it on my own.
I then discussed the options with Mrs. jigg and began wondering if I had to pay a deductible for my insurance. I called right away to ask for this information and also for advice and how to proceed. Luckily, my policy covers it and I wouldn’t be required to pay anything. I would be able to file the claim right there and not have to wait for a police report. By the time we were through, it had been an hour since I backed into their car.
I apologized again and the apologized for my dad’s behavior. They said it was okay and understood that old people tend to have poor tempers.
Were you ever embarrassed with your parents? Are things different now or do they still embarrass you every now and then?
Comments (13)
I’m sorry to hear that you and your wife were in such an uncomfortable situation. I’m relieved to learn that at least it was resolved reasonably.
that’s a tough place to be, but at least your dad was trying to “protect” your interest. had that been my dad, he would have yelled at me for being an idiot driver. =P
@davidian - lol. Yeah, I’m usually really careful but I was just assuming that if I was double parked next to a car, backing up straight would be okay.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
total opposite of my dad. my dad doesn’t rarely ever stands up for himself nor confronts anyone (whether its his fault or not)…so he does get taken advantage of and sometimes is a bit too complacent towards uncomfortable situations that may require a little more backbone. sometimes i think i embarrass him when i become protective over his interest…lol glad it all worked out.
I haven’t been embarrassed per se about my parents lately…however my parents are remodeling their house. They got new recess lighting, new furniture, new paint, new flooring. It looks great but my parents refuse to toss out excess “garbage”, old stuff. I keep telling my mom to just toss it out and she refuses saying the stuff was paid for by money, and if she throws it out it is wasting money. So instead, they have a beautiful remodeled home with clutterville. I said, “Mom, you don’t want to toss it out but it just remains sitting in your house doing nothing. Isn’t that a waste?”
AHH! Chinese parents.
@jigg - haha, i’m not saying you’re an idiot driver or anything like that. my dad just likes to yell at me even when i didn’t do anything wrong – it makes him feel like a man.
I was at a Target once with my family including my dad, who is fully able bodied. We left him alone for about five minutes, and then out of nowhere he comes riding one of those disabled scooters with a big ass smile on his face. I’m like wtf dad, those are only for people too fat to walk, or disabled people. He didn’t care. He just wanted to drive the scooter. *smacks forehead.*
My Dad is the same way. And I would also feel embarrassed if put into the same situation. But don’t let it bother you. I’m sure your father was just being protective of you, as he would if you were younger. He was probably looking out for your best interest, to pay less and to not be cheated of your money (Not saying that $200 is unreasonable). He probably was using a scare tactic and to make them accept $50.
But then again, maybe the fact that he thought it was minor and it didn’t cost that much (in his views). My mom got into a similar situation, except someone hit her and there was a minor dint in her bumper. My dad drove over to the scene and made them pay $50. I don’t know why he settle for more, most people would. It was a year ago when it happened, and they never got it fixed. But I guess it’s cause Chinese people like to save and not waste?
Smart move on calling your insurance agent and your mechanic friend! You did the right thing!
I think they were trying to be polite by not saying “old and Asian.”
my dad wouldn’t even do anything. he would just stand there looking erm….out of place
Nope, you just described my parents exactly. Pretty much any negative qualities you can find in Asian parents, you would find in mines.
I do lose my temper around them sometimes though I know they’re doing it out of concern for me. But damn it, they should trust that I’m old enough to know how to take care of myself.
It’s embarrassing to have them around me. I try to resolve issues on my own nowadays instead of having them be with me. Makes solving messes much less complicated.
My siblings are the same – they’d rather be with me than with my folks. It’s pretty sad, to be honest.
I know you asked for an example of when/if our parents ever embarrassed us, but I’d rather comment on the fact that $200 is reasonable for such a scratch. Basically the whole bumper needs to be repainted, which is anywhere from 200-400.
I’ve always said that my parents couldn’t embarrass me because I didn’t raise them. However, my dad’s not the type to yell at people, either, so I’m sure that makes a difference. That’s the thing about family. It’s not always convenient, but it’s still worth the trouble.