@Victoriamisu - I can’t say i agree at all, with so much of what you’ve said. when will your parents and siblings not need your time? what difference is there to those two types of relationships financially or emotionally or time-wise? the difference lies in your commitment to the other person and their commitment to you. this is taking what should be for marriage without the commitment of marriage to tend to your own needs/desires. listen to the detriments of marriage, the responsibility, the commitment. marriage shouldn’t be about what one can get without having to give much in return; scratch that, no relationship should be about that.marriage isn’t for richer, better and in health; there is poorer, worse and sickness and it’s all going to happen and it’s all a part of life and you’re either going to have someone to go through it with or you’re going to go through it all alone and that isn’t noble or virtuous or pious. if you’re staying with an uncommitted relationship and intent to stay on that until you’ve reached your checklists you not only risk never finding that commitment but you waste the other persons time and emotions when they could be with someone who would give them that commitment. not only them but yourself, you’re robbing yourself from having someone who will support you unconditionally in everything with your career, your family, your hopes and dreams because you are waiting until you’re established. maybe you don’t want to ever get married, and that’s fine, but don’t get the reasons twisted because the commitment and all of that is going to be there no matter when you do it. so you want to wait instead of having “our”  accomplishments, “our” trials and “our” successes until it is “mine and his” separately.. what is even the point then? you are right to say marriage is a union, but your focus seems to be on the independence and freedom you lose and not on the support, love and assistance that you would gain. whether you are talking about money, time, emotion or whatever it is, a union is meant not to drain you but to fortify and strengthen you. when i read the way you write about it, it makes me think that marriage is not worth it. if i work hard to make MYSELF financially stable, if i put so much energy into my own INDEPENDENCE then why would i ever want to give any of that up for anyone? at that point they are merely a leach feeding off of what i have worked so hard for. if however, the focus is finding and being with someone who will support and love them regardless of their circumstances and for whom one can offer the same, the marriage becomes appealing. the thing is, you could commit to it like that, and if you made a wise choice concerning who you joined yourself to it would not diminish your ability to care for your family but would in fact enhance it. 

@Victoriamisu - yaay im home from work! ok, back to replying. i don’t  think anyone wants to live in abject poverty and that’s not what i’m talking about. i don’t mean that people SHOULD enter into things drowning in debt or any such thing, what I am saying is, that if one is talking about a marriage based in love and focused on, as I am assuming yours would be, God then those circumstances should not be a hindrance. putting money aside, you already have so much to give and you deserve to have someone who will give to you and support you. I’m not saying you should get married NOW or even ever, that is up to you; what i am discussing is the reasoning behind the decision. as to inferring that there is no point, again that is my own words, based on the idea that marriage is intended to be a relationship of love and support and journeying through life together. if i’ve already made the journey alone then what is the point in bringing someone else in at the end? i don’t see any. i don’t need someone to be there for me when I have a house on 5 acres a nice car and(insert whatever luxuries or amenities equate to being stable) I need the support and the love and the encouragement when i am struggling, when i’m fighting to get by. ”it is not good for man to be alone” was never given a caveat as far as income etc. but even money aside, as much as i want someone (whether a friend or romantic relationship) to share the good times with, i equally need someone who will make the effort, even if it’s a small one (and sometimes a small one is all it takes) when i am down. and not only to have them be there for me but someone who would share their good times with me as well as allowing me to be there for them when they need strength and support.