June 28, 2012
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Roadblocks
Lately, I have spoken to a couple of people who tell me they can’t do certain things. I understand inability because there are really things we cannot do, but these people tell me they can’t because they tell themselves they can’t.
Last night I was chatting with a friend about running together this Sunday for the 10k race. She loves to run, but has not been able to complete her training three days in a row because of pain in her knee. Yet, despite my repeated attempts to tell her that rest is just as important as training, she insists that she has to run today. She told me she can’t stop, which was the most bizarre thing I’ve heard in a while and it didn’t make sense to me. What do you mean you can’t?
This weekend I was at a camping trip with a bunch of younger fraternity brothers, mostly to provide a workshop for them to try and lead themselves. One brother wanted to get into the medical field, but felt awkward talking to professors. This kid is pretty social and did not appear to be socially inept. When asked if anyone ever told him he was weird or awkward, he answered that no one had– he only feels awkward when talking to professors and it’s not something he can do (though he’s made several attempts).
And then there was this one brother who said he aspired to be a trader for the past year, yet had no idea what traders do or how investments work. When asked what books has he read, he said none, yet still insisting he “really wanted to learn to be a trader.”
To me, these are classic examples of people who put up mental roadblocks. They feed themselves excuses or reasons to justify their inability or their lack of motivation to act. My friend, who has learned to take down these roadblocks in his life told me that “there’s a fine line between being a dreamer and a visionary–they both have goals, but the visionary acts on them.”
I think people should really try to tune out whatever excuses they tell themselves and begin trying to break out of their comfort zone. My friend who loves running is obviously addicted to the endorphins she feels when she runs. But a big part of it may also have to do with her fear that her knee is in fact injured and if she stops running, she may not be able to run anymore. As strange as that sounds, it’s probably what she tells herself.
Some things to think about: What’s a goal you want to accomplish in the next two years and what’s stopping you? What’s in your way and what steps can you do to tear it down?
Comments (9)
You can’t stop working, Jigg. =P
Think about it; who would you be, if you weren’t the guy who’s general life mantra, revolves around self-preservation & improvement through material/physical means? Everyone has something they can’t do; it’s why teamwork is so important. I hear the comfort-zone theory a lot, but if you think about it, it usually breaks down to different value sets.
To answer your question, I would like to be able to accomplish a feat, without utterly criticizing my work. lol
In two years, I’d like to be finishing up my bachelors in nursing. I want to sit for my NCLEX-RN exam and finally change my career. Possibly look for jobs in VA hospitals.
Mr. Jigg, please there me there is a female version of you out there somewhere in this world… as in IN Los Angeles.
@Simply_Cynical - I 100% agree with you.
It’s also a lot easier to analyze a person’s situation and see that they’re doing something wrong when you have the advantage of an outsider’s point of view.
Anyway, I hope to obtain my Bachelor of Education in 2.5 years instead of 3.5… with a lot less debt than I have now. Whoo, peace out life.
@Simply_Cynical – I think we’re all capable of tearing down the roadblocks ourselves. We just need to stop making excuses.
Asking for help and working together is one way to take down that roadblock. Telling yourself that people won’t help you even if you asked, is putting up the roadblock.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Great advice! Closed-loop negative thinking that sets up these roadblocks can really hold us back… thanks for the post!
It’s fortunate they have you to point those roadblocks out for them. It’s always more difficult to see your own mental roadblocks. I hope they listen to your advice and act to be that visionary. In the next 2 years, I hope to buy another home.
there are a lot that i want to do in two years but i guess i’ll just have to take life one step at a time. nothing is stopping me. i have friends that make excuses, and i can be really blunt to them…people like to take shortcuts, get lost along the way, and it may take them longer to get where they need to be.
Good post! I’m also surrounded by people who put up roadblocks but I’ve grown tired of listening to their excuses. People who put up roadblocks like to whinge too about how their life sucks.
2 years time, I hope to be in a better job that I find challenging and fulfilling rather than the mind-numbing job I have right now. Steps, I have to take baby steps to climb the corporate ladder but I can see the slight improvements here and there. Just need to tough it out.